Love, and Losing My Mind!


Dear Diary,

I don't mean to gush or to brag or anything like that. I just want to set the record straight...this guy right here is the GOAT. He's the best, he's friggin funny as heck, he's kind and he loves my little family. That's huge when finding someone to share your life with.

He reminds me of my dad, kind of. Not in the way he looks or where he's from, but how he treats people. He is ALWAYS thinking of others. Not matter what it is. If there is a couch left on the sidewalk that looks half-way decent, he picks it up and takes it to him hometown of TJ for someone to use. Stuff like that. He also makes fun of me like there is no tomorrow and that makes me laugh all the harder. That's what my dad used to do. I guess that's why I'm so good at taking grief from people. It makes me laugh so much.

He's also not one to throw around the "L" word, which is fine by me. I agree with him. It's used way too much and without thinking sometimes. You get what I'm saying? Maybe that's why I haven't heard him say it to me all but three times in 8 months! haha.

He also doesn't judge. My past...my former indiscretions.? He could care less. It's all in how we act and live in the present. THAT, my friends, is refreshing. Sure, the past shapes our future. But, to dwell on the bad things? No bueno.

So, I've been a little down this last week...and super irritable. I don't even know if it has anything to do with this Quarantine thing or not. Maybe it's getting to me. I miss the little things, like going out to eat. Maybe when this is all over, we will all have a greater appreciation for the things we used to take for granted.

We (me, Erik and Linda) had a Zoom call for the Laura Cain After Dark podcast on Thursday night. I had been working all day (cry me a river, right?) and I had been in a funky mood and we were supposed to wear our prom dresses in support of our seniors. Well, I wasn't having it. This is the perfect representation of my mood. haha. Don't get me wrong. I love checking in with my friends on a weekly basis. It makes me happy to see their faces and their smiles. It makes me proud that Linda, Erik and I have people who listen to our podcast! It's amazing. I was just in a mood,is all.

8:30 at night, in my prom dress and slippers with my daughter in the front seat on our way to get rolled tacos. My poor kid will have so many random stories to tell her kids someday of what a lunatic their grandma used to be. In fact, I'll probably be a super looney grandma!

On Facebook, a memory from 7 years ago popped up in on my feed yesterday. Here's the pic of me, Erik and Adrian.

Well, it just so happens that I was wearing the same exact shirt 7 years later to the day!

Ugh. That stupid age spot on my chest. I should've photo-shopped that thing out, but why? I cannot wait for the chance to get that thing zapped off. It sucks getting old. All I get when lay in the sun (for 5 mins) are age spots. Let me rephrase for a better outlook on this whole thing:

Getting old is a beautiful, wonderful thing because I am better and wiser and at peace with myself.

What a load of crud. haha

So, I have decided not to go see my mom in Rancho Cucamonga for Mother's Day. I was going to mask up and glove up and carry disinfectant just to go see her, but my conscious won't let me. If I have the virus on my shoe or on Evan's backpack and she gets it? I could't live with myself. It hurts because I haven't seen her in months and months. She doesn't have FaceTime and she doesn't know how to work Zoom or those kinds of things. But, I have something planned. I hope it works out. I miss her face. And, her whole being.

Aww, there she is. I love her so much. I wish I could shower her with gifts. No. I wish I could shower her with wads of $100 bills. She'd like that a whole lot better. haha. Me too!

I wish I had more stories and more pictures to show you, but when you're stuck at home, there's not much to take pictures of. We will get through this. If you're feeling low, I got ya. Feel free to reach out to me. I'm not the most stable person in the world, but I am a good listener. I promise. lauracain@iheartmedia.com of lauracainad@gmail.com. I'm going to leave you with a song my dad loved! It reminds me of running errands with him on the weekends when I was 8. He had this on cassette and played it over and over again. Sending my love to you guys.

See you next week, Diary.