It's ALL GOOD!


Dear Diary,

First and foremost I must tell you that Antonio and I are just fine! Better than fine. I think I may have exaggerated the state of our relationship in my last Diary entry. He was annoyed by me and that's it. He's not going anywhere...at least not today. My kids, my friends, his kids were all so worried. I feel horrible about it. Just know, Paola, that I love your dad so much and I just want him to be as happy as possible. He's in good hands with me. She was one of the people who was super worried about us. Love you, P. Before I get into anything further, you have to see this video of Antonio that my dog-cam (Blink) caught the other night.

Hahaha! Dropping trow in front of the dog! I love this dang camera. It catches tender moments, too.

Antonio is such a great guy and perfect for me because, look, he goes bead shopping with me at Michaels and LIKES it. He was picking out his own beads and he was all excited about it.

I've made so many bracelets as of late. It's the best therapy for me. So relaxing and it makes me happy that I'm creating something pretty for someone. Let me know if you want one because I have a heck of a lot of beads now and about 2,000 letter beads. Where am I going to store all this stuff when I'm over it! Look!

Two major things happened in the last 48 hours that have lifted me up to the skies. First, my sweet, compassionate, smart, handsome tiny baby boy (HA!) is home for a week. I'm sure you know the feeling if you have kids who have moved out. Having my babies under my roof, back in my nest, is the best feeling ever. I swear the kid is taller than ever. He looks amazing and he is really coming into his own. It's awesome to watch. I am truly his biggest fan. Here is the moment he arrived.

It's blurry because I was jumping up and down. I don't have my kids for Thanksgiving this year, but that's ok. I know we have to share. At least I get to spend all day with him tomorrow.

The second big thing is something I am afraid to tell you. I'm not sure I should, but I'm going to. I have been driving with expired tags for a year and a half. My tags say 2019. It's been scary driving around town everyday. I look out for police cars every where I go. I can't park on the street or they'll tow me. And, I'm just plain embarrassed. I failed to pay the $400 when it was due because of monetary constraints. That caused the bill to jump up to $750. I couldn't afford to pay that, so it jumped up to $1004. Trying to get thru to someone at the DMV to plead my case was futile. I was stuck. Thanks to the generosity of someone in the family, the bill was paid and the tags came in the mail Saturday. It was huge. I was elated!

I feel like a whole person... a law abiding individual. The placement of the stickers needed to be documented.

I am so grateful to this person. I am extremely grateful for so much in my life. I love my family, Antonio's family, my friends, my job and my dog. I love where I live, too. I try not to focus on the fact that I don't have a big house and a fat 401K at this age, but it is what it is. It's just my path. I am thankful I have a roof over my head and I'm extremely thankful that my landlord has worked with me over the last few months as far as the rent goes.

----As I type this, Elvis just looked at me, squatted and peed on the carpet. ugh.----

Anyway, I know that I'm where I'm supposed to be and that I'm on the right path (I think haha).

Speaking of that little brat, Elvis is doing great. He is getting the whole potty training thing slowly, but surely. He's now 3 months and 5 days old. He gets his next set of shots in December and that's when I am allowed to take him places without worry. Charlie asks me why I don't walk him everyday. Well, I am trying to keep him as safe as possible. I let him run around the yard a few times a day. That seems to do the trick. His teething and gnawing on things, like my hands, is getting out of control, but this too shall pass.

On Thursday, I will be telling my story of what my life was like before I got sober and what it's like today. It'll be on the Laura Cain After Dark Podcast. I'll post a link at the bottom of this Diary, so you'll know where to find it.

Before I finish, here are some pics of the baby.

My little buddy.

See you after the holiday, Diary.