Florida Man Threatens Town's Destruction With Command of Army of Turtles

By Joseph Campillo

Florida Man Threatens to Destroy Town With His "Army of Turtles"

The man, who refers to himself as "The Saint," made the claim after screaming at customers of Sassy Granny's Smoothies.

By MH

Delana Love's turtles, so this story piqued her curiosity. TURTLES WIN! Thomas Lane was causing all sorts of trouble yelling obscenities at passers by and business goers before being arrested not once, but TWICE and threatening to destroy everyone with his turtle army. Ah yes, turtles.... The slow and silent killer! WTFlorida!?

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