Seriously, What's Wrong With Me?

Laura's Diary STAR 94.1 FM

I need a check up from the neck up. I really truly do. I need to talk to someone who doesn't know me so they can give me good advice. This isn't a huge problem, but it takes up a portion of my brain that needs to be free to absorb better things.

For some dang reason, I can't get the 43-year-old out of my mind. I miss him. A lot. I think about him. A lot. I have an awesome guy that I am hanging out with now who couldn't be more sweet. I believe that the fact I wasn't good enough for the 43-year-old, or his mother, really bothers me. I keep asking myself "Why?" I think I may know the reason. I wasn't my usual peppy self toward the end of that "relationship." I was off one of my anti-depressant meds because I couldn't afford them (no insurance.) It was around my birthday...May...where I felt just miserable. I was broke, broken and not worthy, I wouldn't want to be with me either, I guess.

I should be over it by now because it's been a few months. He has someone new that he spends "every day with." Ouch. They are in the same profession (how special.) I see his name pop up on Facebook every once in awhile and sometimes I reach out to say "Hi. I hope you're doing well and that you're happy." I truly mean it. But, his answer stings a little. I've never in my life had chemistry with someone like that. Ever. But, like everyone says, everything happens for a reason. blah blah blah.

Now onto the great guy I am currently seeing. He even came to the Star 94.1 Purse Party with me! He was totally into it. I just loved it.

STAR Purse Party
AB and Me

I just love Sycuan. The coolest place to stay and to hang out. It is the perfect spot for my favorite thing...impromptu photo shoots." This was on the balcony of Xplicit...the cool bar/sushi place they just built.

AB

He's such a good sport.

Photo Shoot

After the Purse Party I met a listener who made my whole year. She came up to me crying. I was like "Uh oh, what did it do?" She goes on to tell me that in 2004 when Dr. Stanko told me the sex of my second baby on the air with Jeff and Jer, she made the decision, at that very moment, to have children at the age of 36. She says until that point she was so career focused that she didn't want kids. Now she has FOUR! And, she thanked me for it! I was overjoyed to hear her story. What a great woman. Here's our picture.

Great Listener and Me

To have that kind of impact on someone blows my mind and it makes me feel so good at the same time. Thanks for sharing, Erin.

Antonio Marco Juan Banderas and I gambled a tiny bit. I played the penny slots and boy, did that 20 bucks go fast. Don't get too jealous. My mom won $1800 on the same machine at a casino in Palm Desert with Judy Church last week!

Losing ticket

I made the impulsive decision to put the rest of my money (60 bucks) plus $20 from AMJB on black at the roulette table. I was convinced that I was going to win. I stared at Antonio the whole time the wheel was clicking....the crowd was cheering, his eyes lit up and then BOOM....the dang thing landed on the worst possible thing Green Double Zeros. All gone. Boo-bye. Oh well. I'm very lucky in other ways.

The MOVIE CLUB saw the new Maleficent movie on Sunday. It was really good. I marvel at just how extraordinarily beautiful Angelina Jolie is. I mean, c'mon is there a more perfect face? She was great and so was Michelle Pfeiffer! We all gave it a thumbs up.

Movie Club

See you later, Diary.

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