Dear Diary, I
I am not usually one to toot my own horn, so to speak, but I must say I am pretty happy and proud that I have reached 13 years clean and sober. It wasn't easy. It isn't easy. But, it is so worth every second I put into it. This picture of Ev and I is all I need to remind me how important and vital it is that I never put alcohol or substances into my body. My kids keep me sober, along with many other factors. For me, it's going to meetings, helping others and talking about it.
One of the topics in a meeting I went to the other day was relapse. It's a part of many people's sober journey. Lots of us relapse before we finally get it. Relapse has not been part of my story, thank God. I am grateful to those who share about their relapse and subsequent fall into the depths of despair because it keeps me on guard. This disease is so fierce, so insidious that it'll get ya when you least expect it. That's why I am more determined than ever to stay strong and keep moving forward.
I love this quote I saw on Facebook the other day: "Just because you're struggling, doesn't mean you're failing." I love that.
Ok...hold on...stop the presses.
I just got a ring at my door. It was the Postman. I had to sign for a package.
My friend, Susan, sent me this beautiful Tiffany necklace. I am in tears right now. Tears. Isn't it fantastic?? How lucky am I?
Wow. That just happened. I'm telling you what, living the sober clean life has resulted in lots of mini miracles. And big ones, too.
This weekend, Linda and Erik threw me a 13 year sober birthday party at Dave and Busters. Poor Erik was sick with the flu, so he couldn't make it. But, Linda pulled out all the stops. She got a beautiful cake and presents and invited all my close friends. I am so so grateful for everyone who came out to celebrate. If our friends are a direct reflection of ourselves, then I must be pretty spectacular. Jen, Ron, Jillian, Maggie, Evan, MK, Terri, Pat, Antonio and Erik...I love you guys. Here are some pics.
So the big MMA (I think it was MMA) fight was going on, so the place was packed. People were sitting everywhere watching guys and girls beat the crap out of each other. It was hard to watch. But, it was unavoidable because there are giant TV screen all over the place.
But, the moon came out in full effect, so all was good. hahahaha.
After the party, Evan and her friend wanted some late night snacks, so we went to Vons at 10:30pm. Evan snapped this pic of me voguing in Vons with my party pants on. People probably thought I was drunk off my butt with two teenager in tow. I looked insane!
Plastic pants from Amazon. Leopard sleeved sweater from Amazon. Shoes from Target. Hat from Linda. Braids from Evan. Roots from me being too lazy to get my hair done. haha. Linda! Help!
On Sunday, Antonio took Evan and I to the zoo. I literally got up, threw on clothes that were on my floor, pulled back my hair from the previous night and didn't put a stitch of makeup on. These days, that sight is a scary one, hence the sunglasses and translucent white skin. We had so much fun, though!
I just love elephants. They are my spirit animal, for real. I will go on a safari before I die. It has been my dream since I was 12 year old. I just haven't had the time off or the money to do it. But, where there's a will, there's a way, right?
Btw, look at Antonio representing Laura Cain After Dark at the zoo! haha.
I attached the link at the bottom of this Diary post in case you wanna listen:)
Oh, the Star 94.1 Pick-a-Purse Party at Sycuan was so fun. I met so many nice and genuine listeners. I got to rock the mic with the awesome Delana for a little while, too. Thank you to Jesse and Tati for calling me up on stage. That was really nice of them. I am bummed that I don't have photos from the party. Antonio was videoing me the whole time I was up there, like a proud dad. I just can't bring myself to watch them , tho. I will cringe.
Ok, it's off to my meeting where I will be getting another token! Woo hoo! Being sober definitely has its perks. I attached the song that Jeff and Jer played for me when I got back from rehab. Charlie helped sing it to me on the air. I will forever love this song. And, Tommy, i will never ever forget what you did for me. You are a true friend. The best there is. And, my wonderful Stacey. She's my best friend since preschool. Oh boy, I'm crying again.
Love you guys.
See you later, Diary.