Is He Dunzo?


Dear Diary,

I am afraid I have become an annoying, nagging, boring girlfriend. I feel like Antonio would've rather been in jail the past few days, than with me. It all started on Saturday morning when we headed off to do a few errands. I left Elvis in his crate. I didn't want to leave him for longer than 2 hours. I heard or read somewhere that you should only leave your puppy the number of hours to the number of months he is. Elvis is two and a half months...no longer than 2 and a half hours. Whatever.

Antonio moves at a very chill, very slow pace. That's fine. That's his total vibe. He's very mellow and patient. I, on the other hand, am go, go, go. I try to take two steps back to be more on his level, but I think he should take two steps forward to meet me halfway. Does that even make sense?

Anyway, I was rushing him in Walmart and I was also telling him to hurry it up in Home Depot. That was a big no no. He didn't say anything, but when we got in the car, he didn't speak to me. He just cursed at the traffic and drove a little more aggressively than normal.

I told him I was getting car sick. Well, that was it. He was done. He told me that when he needs to run errands from now on, he's doing it alone. I am not allowed to come. He said it in a very calm voice.

Fine. I get it. I was being too pushy.

Then, I forced him to spend the night with me at the Manchester Grand Hyatt on Saturday night. Forced sounds a little dramatic, but that's kind of what happened. I had a voucher for a free room that I needed to use by December 31st. I unknowingly booked us a room on Saturday night while trying to see the availability of the next few weeks. We couldn't cancel or we'd lose the room.

So, we packed up the dog, I packed a backpack and he packed nothing. He brought absolutely nothing with him. He slept in his clothes and we split one of those hotel deli sandwiches for dinner. The dog kept us awake most of the night, we got up, drank some hotel room coffee and left. It could've been so much more romantic. The room was gorgeous, the view was stunning. It was the company he didn't like.

Lately, I feel like I am an annoyance to him. I feel like he's over it. I wonder if he's had it after living with me for six months. All these doubts fly round and round my brain. I'm not good enough, I'm not pretty enough, I'm not young enough, I don't have big enough boobs, my butt's too small, blah, blah, blah.

It's just one of those phases. This too shall pass..this self doubt. Here's a picture of us in happier times. haha

I brought Elvis into work on Friday. I was so much fun. He loved the traffic center and running up and down the iHeart halls. Here's his little set up.

He just loves everyone! My friend, Jen and her daughter, Jillian, brought me a dog/cat stroller. It was her mom's and now it's mine! yay! I'm going to be one of those people who walk their dogs in a stroller. haha. Jen took some great pics of the boy.

He's being an okay puppy....just ok. I mean, I love the little stinker to death but just when we think he has the peed pad thing down, he'll squat right in front of us and pee on the carpet. Ugh. Again, this too shall pass. At least he's playful, healthy, funny and sweet. And, when he looks me right in the eyes, I melt. The sweetest face ever.

The other thing I've been doing is making, bracelets. I started making them as a way to slow down, relax and be creative. Now, I'm making them for others as a way of giving back. Here are some of my creations.

I hope that things with Antonio and I cool down or heat up or...argh...I don't know. Maybe he just needs space. I can be a lot. 'I hope you have a great week. Here's a link to my podcast and a Bonnie Raitt song that breaks my heart. I love it, though.

See you later, Diary.